You know who I hate? I hate the Baldwins! They just keep multiplying and multiplying. They’re like rabbits … who are in movies … and on TV … and go to rehab a lot! No, they are more like Lindsey Lohan … except four of them! No, they are more like a boy band: Billy - The Cute One, Daniel - The Quiet One, Alec - The Talented One, and Stephen - The Mischievous Little Scamp! Well, whatever they are they’re annoying and I’m calling them out!
William, (is it Billy or William, dude, make up your mind!) you think you can go from being fashion model to being an actor? Next thing you know, you’ll be running for governor of California! I’ll give you ten dirty sexy dollars to get out of Hollywood!
Stephen, you were in Bio-Dome! Do I need another reason to hate you?
Alec, what happened? You used to be in movies! Good movies! Good movies that people had heard of! But now you’ve thrown your career away for some lame SNL-spin-off (no offence to Tina Fey)! If you are going to go that far why not just join the cast of Saturday Night Live? You could replace Darrell Hammond! They need someone younger than him anyway!
Daniel, you were caught running naked through the halls of the Plaza Hotel. I actually don’t really have a problem with you!
In short, these muskacters to say “Adiós” to acting and say “Bonjour” to The Rancor! So, Baldlose brothers, suck on that
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