I would like to send a message to all my American readers: You are so stupid! Canadians all don’t drive zambonis or live in igloos! Canadians have as much of an accent as Americans! It is not ALWAYS cold and snowing up here! Man, you’re dumb! If I still have any American readers I would like to point out the differences between Canada and America in metaphor.
Our National Animals – America has the eagle. Canada has the beaver. America is majestic and beautiful, high on top of a tree; we’re a big ugly rat, but we cut that tree down!
Our Flags – You have 50 stars and they sure look pretty, but we get the same effect with only one leaf!
Our Violence – You guys get to attack Iraq for no apartment reason and it’s all good. We kill a couple seals and we’re evil!
Our Music Television Channels – You have MTV and we have Much. Neither one has anything to do with music!
Our Marvel Superheroes – You have Captain America sporting your flag and we have Guardian wearing our flag. Our hero no one has heard of! Your hero is world-famous, but he is dead!
So you see we are not that extremely different, just very, very different! So suck on that!
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