[12] Yo-Yo Yogurt

I don’t eat a lot of yogurt! So I don’t want you too think I’m a freak, but the other day I was eating a yogurt cup and there was a bunch of fruit at the bottom. Now, I don’t know if this is the norm, but I don’t like it! It fells like there are hiding something (and I know a certain axis of evil who would be very happy to hide something in my food)! However, after talking to an astrophysicist, I found out that you were supposed to stir the fruit in. Well, no deal!!!! I am paying you for the yogurt! So stir it yourself! I’m not doing that much work for yogurt! So suck on that!

[11] Oscars. The Grouch

Well the Academy awards are coming up tomorrow and I thought I would give all my loyal fans a little somthin, somthin. I know a lot of you like to bet on the winners or enter pools. So I have constructed a list of who I think will win the Oscars. And remember this who I actually think is going to win. I’m not going to play favourites!

Makeup: Juno

Film Editing: Juno

Costume: Juno

Cinematography: Juno

Visual Effects: Juno

Sound Editing: Juno

Sound Mixing: Juno

Original Score: Juno

Art Direction: Juno

Visual Effects: Juno

Live Action Short Film: Juno Theatrical Trailer

Animated Short Film: Juno Opening Sequence

Animated Feature Film: Juno’s Audio with some Animation Overtop

Documentary: The Making of Juno

Original Song: Anyone Else But You –Michael Cera & Ellen Page

Original Screenplay: Juno –Diablo Cody

Adapted Screenplay: Good Copy of Juno–Diablo Cody

Supporting Actor: Michael Cera –Juno

Supporting Actress: Olivia Thirlby –Juno

Director: Jason Reitman –Juno

Actress: Ellen Page –Juno

Actor: Ellen Page Disguised as a Man –Juno

Best Picture: Underdog

So, Academy of Motion Pictures, suck on that!

[10] Pen freedom NOW

Can someone please tell me what the bank’s problem is? Seriously they need to get their priorities in order. I was writing a cheque for all the networks I offended in my last post and I noticed the pen I was writing with was chained to the table. I promptly went to every other bank in town and all of their pens are chained to the table! Dude, that really makes me feel so untrusted (not that I’m a very trustworthy guy or anything)! Plus how often do pens get stolen really? The occasional hobo maybe! Just go down to Costco and buy the pens in bulk! You will be covered for all the Hobos in this town! And they would have to be a pretty petty thief to walk into a bank and just steal a pen! And that’s the other thing! As a bank, is the safety of your pens really your biggest concern? I can just imagine a man wearing a balaclava running into the bank yelling and shooting at the ceiling, saying “Alright give me all your pens in a paper bag!” And all the bankers would be yelling “NO! We have a whole vault full of money in the back! Just please don’t take our pens! We use those to write.” Straighten up banks! Or I might donate my money to charity! So suck on that!

[9] Right to Write

I never know how to start these things! You need a hook; something clever to grab the reader’s attention and believe me it is not as easy as it looks. That’s why I was so happy on Tuesday when I found out the writers’ strike was over and finally I get my writers back. Now I just make with the angry and they make with the write-y! So here’s today’s angry: Networks! Those guys have been asking for it for years! So here is a list of each network and why that network sucks (on that! HA HA HA! Those clever writers!):

1. Disney Channel – Hannah Montana … nuff said!

2. TBS – Because, Peachtree TV isn’t an improvement!

3. HBO - Stands for: High-priced But Overrated (also stands for: Hugh O'Brian. You know? The guy who played Wyatt Earp? Well nice try HBO, but the O comes before the B in O'Brian)!

4. Social Networks - Friends are great and all, but I didn’t get this blog because I had a lot of support (I got it because it comes with every Nexopia account)!

5. Verizon (the so called most reliable network) – STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND!

6. Spider-Man’s Network that he held the innocent civilians in: I would be so scared if I was in one of those nets! How stable are they really? Also I never see Spider-Man come back to help the people down after he saves them. Are they just supposed to stay suspended above New York and rot there for years and eventually die? No thanks! Just let me hit the cement Mr. Man (if that is your real name)!

And besides all the reasons above the main reason I hate networks is that they kept me and my beloved writers apart! But now that my writers are back this blog will be better than ever and none of the networks above will get a cent, so suck on that!

[8] Saint Valentines Day, Ain't Valentines day

Well, loyal followers Thursday is Valentines-Day and I am so POed! I know what you obsessed fans are thinking “But, Robert you’re birthday is on Valentines-Day!” Ya? Well shut the hell up! I hate having my birthday on the 14th. Everyone always saying “Oh, I’m going to buy something for my boyfriend or girlfriend or both!” Never anything for me! Don't I have feelings? So that is way I am starting this petition to make February 14th National Suck On That Day! If you agree (which by the way you do) please leave your name, date and “suck on that” in the comments section. Let’s work toward a brighter tomorrow! Oh, and just so you know, government, I don’t care what the real number is! I’m calling ten signatures a moral victory, so suck on that!

[7] Lets Mosey on down to Facebook

OK all you Facebookies! Today is your lucky day I have started a new group on Facebook called "Suck On That: Fan Club". Now you know Facebook is not as good as Nexopia *crossed fingers* but all you true ‘Suck on That’ fans who have Facebook now have a great place to hang out! You just have to prove yourself a fan of the blog and you’ll get yourself inside this gated community. It is gonna be a blast! I’m bringing corn chips! Facebook won’t know what hit it (or rather dropkicked its brain)! Not many entry rules you just have to be a fan and not the axis of evil! Please leave comments about the group and please suck on that!

[6] Solved

The government totally sucks. Which totally sucks because I've had the answer to all our problems for years! Cryogenically-Frozen Super-Monkeys. Just hear me out! Monkeys make us laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. Medicine cures most things. Ergo monkeys cure most things. Super means that it can do more than usual. So Super-Monkeys would cure everything. Then we would only need the Cryogenically-Freeze to save them for future generations. Shut up, it works! Cryogenically-Frozen Super-Monkeys are the solution to all our problems (except for the Cryogenically-Frozen Super-Monkey problem) so suck on that!

[5] Read all my words

I think I’ll just hit the enter button a few times!














































The reason I have done this is because my beef today is how the website shows most of my blog right on my profile, but not this time. This time you have to read the whole thing! So suck on that!

[4] I can say whatever the F*** I want

OGTAYTRUJGHKHHSHWT$%TJDFGSJJTTYTHFGJGKTYUJYKIPO(*I )L"{UIDRFSYHJKKJHIUYIJ27HJHIFGDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The above is an expression of my freedom of speech. I sure love that thing! For those of you how don’t know “freedom of speech” is something discovered by a caveman named Blog. He wrote some things one a cave wall that roughly translated to “You can say what ever you want to!” So no censoring! Yet, today in a world of political correctness you can’t say anything without someone telling you “You are such a pig!” or “Stop using such bad language in front of my kids” or “I’m not Italian!” or “I did NOT insult you... or you blog for that matter!” or “You can’t post two entries in on day!” Well it seems these people (you know who) you are have forgotten freedom of speech and they will get an extra brain drop-kicking. And now Nexopia is telling me you can’t reveal peoples last names on the site! Oh can’t I?

Ben’s last name is Stiller!

Carmen’s last name is Electra!

John’s last name is Rambo!

And my last name is The Destroyer!
So suck on that!

[3] Mistaken Identity

Alright its blog number 3 and already I've been told to write a formal apology, good sign! But like I’ve said before THIS I AN ANGRY BLOG! Ergo I will not be doing any apologising. However I will tell you that Vanessa is no longer the #1 hater of this blog. She is not a jerk for that reason. The real axis of evil starts with a B and ends with a –rooklyn. I was unable to tell who it was that was insulting me and me child (this blog). The great thing for me is that this ties into my beef today “profile pictures”. The reason I couldn’t tell who the jerk was is because there was no profile pic on said jerk’s profile. People! I’m sounding the printed alarm. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo! If that didn’t scare you these fake statistics will scare you: over 5.5 people out of 8 don’t have profile picture and that is the same number of people who die on the internet each year! Do you expect me to memorize all your user names? No! You have to have a profile pic unless:

#1. You are hiding from the law (fight the machine!!!) Can someone please get the hippy out of my brackets?!?!

#2. You don’t have a face

#3. If you’re Ryan: This blog’s number one fan!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN AND SUCK ON THAT!!!

[2] The Low Down

I’ve have some complaints about there being “nothing in” my last post. Not to name any names *cough* Vanessa *cough*! So I am now here to tell you about my new blog it’s called ‘Suck on That’ and it’s the only reason to have Nexopia! First of all there’s my name: Robert, my mama gave me this name. So, if you have a problem with my name you have a problem with my mom and if you have a problem with my mom you have a problem with me! Secondly this blog will require you to use your head-meat, so it you can’t take your brain being drop-kicked then get the flip out of this internet right now! Alright let’s get down to beeswax, Q&A time!

Q: Who are you?
A: Your worst nightmare!

Q: What is this for?
A: To provide you with something more true than the truth. This isn’t going to be a blog for just anything. This is so that you the reader know what is wrong with the world. I read a blog the other day were the guy just stated the lyrics to a song! Without getting angry at them! “A blog without anger is like a power-ranger with out a giant robot” ~ Me

Q: How does this work?
A: I tell you things. You accept them.

Q: When will you post?
A: This is not a weekly blog!This is not a monthly blog! This is not a daily blog (Because unlike you nerds I have a life)! No, this is an evently blog! When I’m PO’ed you will know (so it’s best to check every day).

Q: Who is the person who is asking you all these questions?
A: … Shut Up!

This blog is your life from now on! So suck on that!