[18] Suck on what? Part one

I am really angry today! You know why? I'm angry because I have absolutely nothing to be angry about! Everything has been going really good lately and I have nothing to complain about! How will this blog survive if there is nothing making me mad? Honestly, I don’t even have a quibble! Here let me try to get mad at something:
… Umm … phones aren’t … that … good…
See?!?!? That wasn’t even irritated! I’m afraid to say it, but every thing is hunky-dory! So my friends, suck on … oh what’s the point?!


Is this the end? Is Suck on That over? Is there anything you can do to help? No! No! And Yes! All you little children just have to clap if you believe in Robert! That’s right, clap, clap, clap like there’s no tomorrow and maybe, just maybe we’ll get our old angry Robert back! Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion of Suck on That: Suck on What?!!!

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

[17] Practical Yolks

Robert have beef! People disgust me these days! OK so I’m in my house, right? Where I live, right? And I wake up, right? In my bed, right? I walk into the hallway to go and enjoy Easter with my family, when I notice something less not un-normal than usual! It looks like someone wanted to pull a funny, an Easter funny! Some punk had egged my house! Hasn’t Michael Moore taught us anything? I seriously thought those days were behind us! What’s worse is now the prankers are getting creative! Instead of using normal eggs these people used chocolate eggs and instead of throwing them at my house they hid them in my house. So I had to search for them and clean them up all morning. What disturbs me is that they managed to break into my house to hide the chocolate eggs. So personally I’m doing everything I can to make practical jokers suck on that!

[16] Super Smash No's!

I haven’t posted a new post in a week because I’ve been really angry and busy playing Super Smash Bros Brawl. So here’s my beef; Super Smash Bros Brawl! Now, I’ve unlocked all the characters and don’t worry I’m not going to spoil them for you, but I will tell you that I’m not one of them! I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking; “Hey Robert! You are not a Nintendo character!” Well, Sunny-Jim, it’s time you wake up and smell the news! There are two third-party characters in the game. I also know what that creepy old guy behind you is thinking; “Hey Robert! What makes you think they would even consider putting you in the video game?” Well, obviously that creepy old dude has not read this blog before! Furthermore I sent in the design for the character over two weeks before the game came out in North America. Let my give you just a little taste of what you are all missing:

Side-B: Lightsaber your ass

Down-A: Double Sock Kick

Up-B: Brain Drop-Kick

Down-B: Cryogenically-Frozen Super-Monkey Smash

Final Smash: I speak poorly of all the characters in this blog and they all jump of them self.

You all know that you want to play as this character, but now you can’t! So Nintendo, suck on that!

(P.S. can someone please translate this to Japanese? Thanks!)

[15] Episode XV. The Empire Kicks Brain

A long time ago in a blog far, far away … I had a beef!

Now as some of you don’t know I am a Jedi. It is a real religion! There is a church in Wales and everything! So I don’t see what’s so funny about it! Do I laugh when you say you’re Catholic? Do I smile when you say you’re Christen? No! I try to convert you! It’s like, one day someone is praising your blog and all of the sudden they find out you’re a Jedi and the next thing you know they chuck a grapefruit at your face (thanks for the free grapefruit bitch!)! There are too many anti-sejeditic people out there and let me tell you the dark side surrounds them! Why can’t we give peace a chance and bring balance to the force? Javier Bar-dammit! Don’t make me lightsaber your ass! I swear I’ll come right out of this blog and do it!

…There! Happy?

Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is; I can bring the corn-chips to this year’s Life-Day party. We gonna party like a Death Star (Yo-da man!)! So suck on that!

[14] Socks Rock!

If you have been lucky enough to meet me you will have wondered two things: #1. Where does all that ominous smoke come from? #2. Why does Robert wear his socks over his pants? Well I’m here to tackle the latter.

Listen, I would like to wear my socks the normal way, but then people might mistake me for a normal person. I really would like to! But the fans just love it. I want to remove my pants from my socks! But it is the latest fashion statement is Paris. I would like to stop! But then someone else might start. I would like to stop! But a certain part of my anatomy might drag on the floor. I want to stop! But I don’t want any of your brains on my pants! So suck on that!

[13] Who cars?

This is a little story that happened to a friend of a friend of mine: Me! I'm walking along with some of loyal followers when all of the sudden a car stops right in front of us. They roll down the window and some crazy lady sticks her head out of the window and starts yelling at us and asking us what we were going to do to this parked car that was aberrantly her friend’s. Now I’m going to tell you what is wrong with this story with one of my patented lists.

1. Crazy Ladies shouldn’t be aloud to drive.

2. The car was on the other side of the road from us.

3. Just because it was it was late in the night doesn’t mean we’re going to do anything to the car.

4. Just because we are a bunch of teenagers doesn’t mean we’re going to do anything to the car.

5. Just because we had a broken golf club that would be good to break into a car with doesn’t mean we’re going to do anything to the car.

The conclusion that I have come to is that I’ve come to is that that lady needs to get off the crack. So suck on that!