They are on your street corners! They are at your children’s birthday parties! They are on our televisions! That’s right I’m talking about magicians, they have a hidden agenda:
1. Fill your hat with Rabbit crap!
2. Sucker-punch you in the face while your cleaning your hat!
3. Wear really bad tuxedos!
We can’t let them get away with this or soon they’ll have all our world leaders writing their names on the backs of playing cards! With those signatures they will be able to do anything! Here are our main culprits and who I have assigned to take each one down:
Criss Angel-Mindfreak – Well to take on Mr. Angel-Mindfreak (if that is your real name) I would choose Chuck Norris, because Criss can walk on water, but Mr. Norris can swim through land (tm)!
Houdini – Now, I’m pretty sure Houdini is dead, but people still are able to talk to him! This looks like a job for Ghost Rider, suit up Nicolas Cage!
David Blaine – I’d pin him against Briana Evigan and Robert Hoffman, because they have what it takes to step up 2 the street magic!
Neil Patrick Harris – A gay-rights-activist so he knows it’s not because he’s homosexual and that it is because he’s magic!
Harry Potter – (See Above)
Siegfried & Roy – A black tiger could beat up their white tiger any day! Get it? Because whiteys are weak!
So to any magicians out there who are readying this be warned, I actually have these people on speed-dial and they will mess you up! Magicians you can cut me in half as many times as you want! I’ll still be twice the man you ever were! So suck on that!
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