[47] An Unfunny Episode that Deals with Serious Issues and Mature Subject Matter

I have a beef! I have a beef with shows that just stop abruptly and don’t conclude anything. Shows that just end without resolving conflicts or tying up loose ends or saying goodbye. This made me so flipping angry that I decided to write a conclusion to Suck on That over two years since my last post (in honor of National Suck On That Day). So my friends, my followers, my children, this is truly the end as far as this blog is concerned. However, it is only the beginning as far as YOU are concerned because I have provided you with something more true than the truth. You now know what’s wrong with the world, so that my message to heart and get angry! Whenever someone tries to censor you or egg your house get angry! Whenever there’s a rerun on TV or fruit at the bottom of your yogurt get angry! Whenever you are cryogenically-freezing a super-monkey get angry! GET ANGRY!!! And now for your angry enjoyment here is the final list of Suck on That. The list of what happened to everyone after Suck on That:

1. Ryan – Suck on That’s number one fan never accepted that the blog had ended. He spent his remaining years in front of his computer screen refreshing the Suck on That website in hope of a new post.

2. Breached – Breached changed their name to Waste, but last I heard they were still rocking. Hard.

3. The Bear on The Loose – The bear was finally caught and euthanized after it had killed three people and sexually-harassed a co-worker.

4. Wanda Sykes – She was killed by the bear.

5. The Guy Who Looked Like a Duck – Jim sued for the rights to his story when Robert’s book became a New York Times bestseller, but lost after a nasty battle in court. He still looks like a duck.

6. Crazy Car Lady – The crazy lady in the car went on to become the governor of Alaska and even ran for Vice President.

7. Le Comba Diablo – Satan’s Hairbrush turned out to be gay! He fell in love with and married one of the male goats with Bardems. Robert then told them the story of the bees and the bees.

8. The Actress Who Played Roberts Mom – She left after Robert was no longer able to offer her a steady paycheck.

9. Robert’s Mom – His real mom came back after her replacement left. She was very angry with Robert. She grounded him for a week!

10. Brooklyn – The axis of evil was never accepted back into society after insulting this blog. She is still public enemy number one and is not allowed in most countries or Boston Pizzas.

11. Theo – Robert’s long lost half-cousin Theo went on to have his very own, highly successful, Theo’s Thoughts spinoff blog.

Theo’s Thoughts: Oh my god. Really?

Of course not! You’re a loser and no one likes you!

12. Robert – As for our fearless leader, no one quite knows what happened to him. He completely disappeared after the last episode of Suck on That. But, the children say that you can still hear his voice on the wind whispering those three little words that everyone wants to hear “Suck on that.”

Well there you have it the end of an eaaruruaa. Feel free to delete your Nexopia account now because that’s all the brain drop-kicking you’re gonna get. No seconds! Now get out there and drop-kick some brains of your own. This blog is no longer your life! SO SUCK ON THAT!!!!!!